Archive for category Dog Quotes
A bed that I dream of…
When yer tired from workin’ out all day
And ya really need a rest.
When yer sleepy and yer dirty
And ya sure don’t look yer best.
When ya want a place ta curl up
And rest yer weary head
Ya just want a quiet corner
And yer big soft, comfy bed.
And if it’s yers, ya know it
Cause it’s all messed up and more.
Full of hair and crumbs and paw prints,
Where ya can close yer eyes and snore.
-by Dewey Dewster, the Poet Pup of Petsburg, Pawsylvania
(Read Dewey’s Thoughts at his blog, Love Those Wires here.)
Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job. – Franklin P. Jones.
I am not sure about either the quote or the quoted.
However, it’s clear to my sharp canine senses that the quote is a multi-entendre. It could imply any of the following and more, depending completely upon who reads it.
Some of the Many Possible Interpretations of the Quote:
- If you are a risk-averse human (you’d be surprised to discover how risk-averse humans can be,) it could mean that you can sit on your haunches, scratch your dog, and you’d be set for life.
- If you are a dog-loving human, it could mean that if you scratched a dog, every dog in the neighborhood would be queuing up to have you scratch their backs.
- If you are a normal human with a propensity towards scratching backs, it could mean that you could earn your living by scratching the backs of those dogs whose owners prefer not to put their manicured hands in a dog’s fur.
- If you are not a dog-person, you could for once get over your canine apathy and scratch the back of your boss’s dog to get a “permanent job.”
All in all, I don’t think that this is a dog-friendly quote – I read in it some serious advice for humans. Don’t you?
Some of the Many Possible Intentions of the Quoted:
Now let us review the quoted’s intentions.
The gentleman in question who was known by a complex human name “Franklin Pierce Jones” was a humorist and wrote this in jest. Thus, I’d say that his intentions were above-board and honest. Yet, we could ask:
- Did he have a dog?
- Did he scratch the dog?
- Did he really find a permanent job, scratching his dog?
- Was the job to scratch his dog, other dogs, or other humans?
- Was the job something else entirely?
- Perhaps he scratched a publisher’s dog and it helped him publish this wonderful quote and then many other quotes such as these? Or…
- Did he scratch a pretty young woman’s dog and ended up marrying her, thus, finding a permanent job of scratching all her dogs?
Whatever his reasons for writing this quote might’ve been, he sure wrote quotable quotes!
Read more of Franklin P. Jones’ Quotes here.
So…did this quote get you thinking? What is your interpretation?
Man is a dog’s idea of what God should be. – Holbrook Jackson.
This quote deserves some serious canine attention. Note that through this statement Mr. Jackson has said a lot.
Here are two important things that I can sniff out of it.
- Dogs are religious beings and they have a strong concept of God.
- A dog’s concept of God is that of an imperfect, bumbling, confused, self-obsessed being who isn’t ever able to make up his mind and relies on his dog for his security and sanity.
I mean, only a human could ever be megalomaniac enough to assume that “Man is a dog’s idea of what God should be.”
Here’s what I think.
A Dog’s Perception of Man:
- Man is short-sighted and completely obsessed with the here-and-now.
- Man has only five senses – needs help from dogs in the sixth sense department.
- Man can’t distinguish between friends and foes, and we dogs need to help him do that.
- Man is the most self-centered animal of all, who wants to live forever and consume all natural resources; happy to leave nothing for even his own progeny.
- Man fools others of his kind and leads them in fights and wars.
But while a dog thinks that man is all this, he also realizes that man has goodness hidden in his soul, and that goodness needs to be nurtured. A dog sees through the veneer that hides that goodness and this is why you can always trust a dog to sniff out the best among humans.
Remember that the dog always knows, and that he accepts his human friends with all their faults. This doesn’t mean that he sees God in those humans, it just means that he sees goodness in them. The dog stays with his humans to protect and nurture that goodness, which is called humanity.
Peter Drucker’s Principles of Efficiency and Effectiveness – Explanation and Case-study – from a Dog’s Perspective!
Welcome to this class on Efficiency and Effectiveness. You’ve heard of Peter Drucker, haven’t you? (If you haven’t, what are you doing in my class?)
Well…here’s the gist of Peter Drucker’s Efficiency and Effectiveness Principles:
- Principle of Efficiency states that Efficiency is the ability to do things right.
- Principle of Effectiveness states that Effectiveness is the ability to do right things.
Does that confuse you? Fret not. Here’s a case-let (case-study?) that will help you understand both these principles really well.
A Case Illustrating Peter Drucker’s Principles of Efficiency and Effectiveness
Here’s a case-let (pup of a case) featuring Oorvi the Smart Canine Manager and Mercury the Somewhat-dim Kitchen Manager of the Human variety.
With a Super-goal that reads Co-exist; the task we are focused on is “eat dinner.” Let us see how this task is performed.
Note: I am not going to discuss employee motivation here as it’s beyond the scope of this post. It should suffice to say that this particular human who goes by the name of Mercury has been motivated to prepare dinner, the dinner is ready, and Oorvi needs to eat it.
Mercury: Oorvi…Oooorveeee! Do you want dinner?
Oorvi (swaggers in): Woof…grrrr….grrrr…growl! (Translates to: Of course, you moron. Why won’t I want dinner? I am not on a diet; I don’t need to lose twenty pounds like you do; and I hate being asked that question every day!)
Mercury: Well then. Bring your bowl.
Oorvi does the right thing (principle of effectiveness: Peter Drucker), fetches the bowl quickly and without dropping it (principle of efficiency: Peter Drucker).
Mercury fills the bowl with delicious, yummy chicken soup, which Oorvi polishes off. She does the right thing again. (Note the principle of effectiveness). She does it in flat 30 seconds, and then she licks the bowl clean in the next 30 seconds. Thus, she does the job the right way. (Note the principle of efficiency.)
Mercury: Oorvi, now put your bowl back in the shelf.
Oorvi: Bow…grrr…woof! (Translates to: You numbskull humatic! Do you see Effectiveness in this task? Do you think it’s the right thing to do? Nobody puts food in a bowl that lies on the shelf, so why would I want to take it back there?)
Mercury: Put the bowl back or else…
Oorvi: Wooo (Translates to: Okay…Okay!)
Oorvi yawns, tries to pick the bowl, drops it, tries again, drops it again, and so on and so forth. After numerous such attempts she finally picks it up, waddles a few steps, then drops it, and picks it up again…
Mercury: Oorvi, is this the right way of doing things?
Oorvi: Woof…Bow…Wow! (Translates to: When you aren’t doing the right thing, why the heck would you want to do it the right way?)
Learning from the Illustration/Case:
- When you aren’t doing the right thing, you don’t care whether you are doing it the right way or not. Thus, efficiency is absent from ineffective, useless processes.
- People have different perceptions. What is right for you may not be right for me!
- Effectiveness and Efficiency matter only to the motivated individual!
Finally, the morale of this post in the form of a quote by Oorvi:
One motivated dog is worth 7 de-motivated humans!
You can ask a hungry dog to bring a bowl but after he has eaten, you can’t ask him to put the bowl back!
You know what equates a dog and a human?
Well, according to Robert Brault, a Backrub!
I am not your dog, but if every time you saw me you gave me a backrub, I would run to greet you too. – Robert Brault.
I admire Mr. Brault’s gumption. Through this succinct statement of his, he has underlined a fundamental truth. There isn’t a lot of difference between a dog and a man...really, except that a dog is infinitely more:
- and so on…
and that a dog isn’t at all:
- and so on!
I’d like to run across to Mr. Brault, throw him down on the grass, climb upon his chest, and give him ten loving licks on his canine-friendly face!
Fabulous Quote…keep them coming Mr. Brault, keep them coming!
Proofs that dogs are smarter than every other animal, including the humans, abound. In fact, clues to these proofs are hidden even in the human literature – all you need is some strong dog-sense to sniff it out.
Here are three dog quotes, and their true meanings.
“If your dog doesn’t like someone you probably shouldn’t either.” – Unknown
The meaning is not difficult to dig out, especially is you are an enterprising pup and not a lazy human. It clearly tells you that a dog knows better – and that when in doubt, humans should follow their dogs’ noses! You didn’t know that – did you? Are you human or what?
“The more people I meet the more I like my dog.” - Unknown
Whoa! Aren’t you a slow learner, dear Unknown? Never went to school…right? The books are full of real-life anecdotes that tell you why a dog is a man’s best friend. You shouldn’t have wasted all that precious time of yours trying to meet humans, and if you still are going around shaking hands with people, widening your research database – STOP NOW!
Remember the formula:
The Awesomeness of the Average Dog = The Awfulness of the Average Human
So do the right thing…spend your precious time with your dog instead!
“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear a tail.” - Fran Lebowitz
In other words, if you are a dog and your owner is dumb, you act dumber! Whacko…right?
If you are a dog (thankfully) and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, I’d recommend any or all of the following.
- Explain to the caring but k9-ically-challenged human that you don’t need a sweater because you are wearing a warm coat, and there’s actually no point wearing sweater on top of a coat.
- Enjoy a quiet afternoon tearing the sweater into rags and use the rags as a cushion. Any human of average intelligence would get the message and find you a nice ragged cushion instead.
- Wear it anyway, because humans think that you look cute all decked up – the little discomfort of wearing a sweater or a frock is a small payment to make for the treats that you’d get! If you don’t believe me, ask Lorenza, the prettiest Dachshund in Mexico!
But don’t ask your human to wear a tail because training them how to wag it could be quite a task!